I know summer isn't officially over yet, but once September arrives everything feels different.
The yellow school bus brakes announce, "It's 8:05!"
The coffee tastes the same, but the stroll through the garden drinking it feels harried.
My mind floats from thought, to thought, to thought.
I do a few chores then pull myself to some semblance of order before I head off.
I am sucked into a world of chaos.
All around me little beings hum while older beings try to keep things organized.
"Very good job, every single person froze this time when they were asked to!" I hear the frazzled kindergarten teacher gush.
Whirls of plaid, floral, and hair bows swirl through the halls, picture day.
I sit distracted with my student trying to get her to focus.
Later, we sit at lunch, melted cheese in a hot dog bun, and broccoli.
Soon I am at middle school.
"Whoops, we forgot to tell you there is a 9/11 commemoration today, no tutoring."
I head outside, the whole school is in formation in the field, the sun is sweltering.
I quickly get into formation.
The speaker's voice is lost as the students distractedly watch the drone above them filming their formation, two men are on the roof of the school operating it.
"We must never forget 3,000 died fifteen years ago."
They weren't born yet, I think.
The principal reads a poem; I don't hear it.
A teacher leads us in the Star Spangled Banner.
I sing the best I can, though her notes are too high for me.
I am moved to tears.
A voice comes on the loud speaker immediately after,
"There are freeze pops if you are good."
I walk off the field.
There are sometimes I hear the message within the message and have a hard time knowing what I should do to serve the students I teach.
Today, there are no words.